


Seven Stages of My Grief

by Soha_Friend



Category: Mortal Kombat - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Gen, Sadness, stages of grief
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-21
Updated: 2017-09-12
Packaged: 2018-11-16 23:08:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 5,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11262936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soha_Friend/pseuds/Soha_Friend
Summary: Grieving is a part of love. The more you love someone, the greater the grief when that relationship ends, whether through death or some other form of separation...Welcome to the seven stages of my grief...





	1. Shock, Denial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intro quote: Burning House by CAM

**_I had a dream about a burning house,_ **

**_You were stuck inside I couldn’t get you out,_ **

**_Laid beside you and pulled you close,_ **

**_And the two of us went up in smoke._ **

 

That was so unreal but yet so present. And Hanzo knew he fought in another place at another time. But… But why was it so painful? So… Real?

“No!”

The place he called his home was in flames. His brothers! His sisters! His family? No! It could not be true. Was he that late?

His foot set on the ground of the burning village. Hanzo hesitated, too afraid to prove what was already predicted. The deadly smell of ash and flesh stood in the air. But what was even deadlier was the smell of the terrifying anticipation.

The general stepped in, hands shaking nervously. The mask was soon forgotten on the ground for the fire to consume. He would need it if his clan was gone, not then, not anymore. 

Scorpion ran, calling for survivors. But what met him was a grave silence and sounds of wood being broken apart by the fire.

The dry grass burned around him, making it extremely dangerous to walk there. But Hanzo was a warrior, he has seen much worse. Yet this was the scariest of the things he had to experience. Not because it was dangerous. Of course not. But because he was terrified of finding the corpses of the people he loved. People that did everything for him and he did everything for.

The path he walked on was no longer a path, with broken pieces of buildings and trees on it. Glass was spilled on the ground like water after an autumn rain. The village was destroyed and left broken.

How could they be gone so suddenly? They could not be, right? Most of them were trained ninjas, just like him, no one could kill them so easily! If Hanzo was only fast enough, to be there when they needed him most.

He continued calling. Hope dies last… Or so they say. Hanzo opened countless doors. Someone! Someone had to stay alive. Anyone!

“Onegaishimasu*…”

Despair… As he walked to the house he left her and their child in, fire blazed from it’s windows. He looked at the sky, but the only he was were black clouds of smoke and ash. There was not a single patch of sky visible, darkness consuming everything.

“Kana, doko ni imasu ka**!”

A wave of loneliness washed over him as he stared at the house. Hanzo’s body was trembling, no shaking in agony. The black smog covered all the area making eyes water. He tried to aid himself with  suffocative coughing, but nothing seemed to help. He could not even think that the mask left on the ground would help him, or did not want to. He covered his mouth and nose with his hand which made it a tiny bit easier to breath, and moved forward.

And there in the distance. So far away and hidden behind the smoke it was barely visible stood something that made him loose that fragile remain of hope. Scorpion ran towards it like a wild animal. His wife and son were there: silhouettes caught up in a fatal layer of ice. Petrified… Forever!

 His beautiful wife brutally frozen and killed with his infant son on her hands. She was still in her night gown, peaceful and happy. They had gotten her when she least expected, when she thought he will return and be with her. And Jubei, he did not get the chance to see the world as his life ended before it could fully begin. He reached out for the glacier putting his hands against it, knees bending. The great Scorpion was broken down, defeated in his own home. He pressed his forehead against the cold of the glacier, and tears fell from his eyes. He just cried.

“Sumimasen, watashi wa anata ni shippai shimashita***!”

Hanzo cried, no longer hearing what was happening behind him. A hard grip of cold hands at the neck brought him back to reality.

“Pathetic,” a remark full of unhidden malice from a person he hated the most.

He did not fight the sting of ice at his neck, he no longer had anything to fight for. And the last thing he thought was how he hated the person behind him.

And the Lin Kuei did his signature move, and tore out the spine of the person in front. Forever raising this war of hate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Please...  
> **Kana,where are you?  
> ***I am sorry, I have failed you.


	2. Pain, Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intro and outro quotes - Disturbed: Inside the Fire

**_Give your soul to me for eternity,_ **

**_Release your life to begin another time with her._ **

 

Fire… For miles and miles around the only thing present was the flame, and the chores of the martyrdom voices of sinners. Agony, pain and despair were flying in the air. The light was dim and pressuring for anything mortal, but on the other hand anything alive had no entrance there.

There he was, a naked body hanged atop the lava pool of torture. A simple sinner? No, too easy… A part of someone’s evil plan? More likely… He already died but his soul was still praying to the fire. To the only thing that could thaw out what took her from him. The only thing that could fight ice. Luckily, he was in a place that was woven from this scarlet element, with tongues of the flame constantly present. But it did not make anything better. Everyone came there to pay. Including him.

He was bathed in lava and burned, but still the most painful of all were his thoughts that suddenly stopped racing. It was a heavenly release for someone who was locked in the realm of the inferno. It seemed like hell has heard his prayers…

Or was it someone else?

“There you are!” a pair of bloody red eyes looked from bellow. The person talking had wickedly glowing red tattoos and a peculiarly perfect sinister smile, “Hanzo Hasashi, you are here to suffer, yet my torturers report that fire does not burn you. Why?”

But he did not even glance at the source of the disturbance. Blood bubbled in his throat flowing out in abnormal quantity through his mouth, making it extremely hard to speak. The shackles held their tight, painful grip at the surprisingly still human flesh. The rough iron of them eliminating any movement and causing the victim to suffocate. It took the last of his past will and strength to cough out the blood and pathetically choke out the two words,

“My…f..fa.family…”

Too much guilt. Too much pain! **Too much** misery in those words!

And as the bounds lost their strength under the clear spell of necromancy and his body engulfed in flames, tears fell from his now solidly white eyes and he gave up. Never for himself. Always for his family. For Kana, his loving wife. For Jubei, his innocent child. For his brothers and sisters that were brutally murdered in the massacre within the clan’s walls. The fire burned brighter with every second,

“For the justice!” he thought, not knowing that that “Justice” was really pure vengeance in disguise, “For the ice to be melted and **Him** to be killed!”

He was granted the opportunity to redeem, and to be stronger than ever. He would not even think there was too much of a promise in that power. Why would he? His head was clouded by this “responsibility” of selling his soul to atone for what he has done. To atone for doing everything that was still not enough. To atone for something he was not guilty for! Of course it was all part of the plan of the sorcerer who “gifted” him with that choice, and was now smiling the most disgusting of smiles, “Mine,” he whispered as he finished the spell.

**_End your grief with me, there's another way,_ **

**_Release your life, take your place inside the fire with her._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews are always welcome, hope you liked it)


	3. Anger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intro and Outro quotes : Disturbed - Hell

**_Soul of the night, now I can't stay behind,_ **

**_Save me from wreaking my vengeance upon you,_ **

**_And killing more than I can tell,_ **

**_Burning now I bring you Hell!_ **

It has always been nothing more than a dance. A circling waltz of pure hatred, a movement of swords clenching against each other. A fight. Time and again they looked deep into each other's eyes trying to predict the other, only to find a hungry, animal look. Time and again they fought only to prove they are equals in this art of death and destruction. Knowing everything about each other from the names of loved ones to secret fears. To some it may have seemed a showoff. But to them the dancefloor has always been something intimae and sacred, thus only for the two of them.

When two rivals step onto the floor the dance starts with a movement, a word, or a simple feeling... Of anger.

"I will have my revenge, but I will not kill Sub-Zero!"

"Will not, or can not?"

The beginning, a slight reverence before the waltz.

"You! The Shirai Ryu are dead, you will suffer as they did!"

"To hell with your clan!"

"No, to hell with you!"

Fiery hands grabbed the shoulders, dragging somewhere down, where the ballroom burned around them in all the colors of hell. Heated words driving them into passion of the fight. Adrenaline running in the veins, making them call to their primitive instincts, tremendous ferocity awoken. Both no longer human, with hellish fire burning somewhere deep inside. Metallic taste of blood traced on their behavior, making them cruel, making them want more. Much, much more. It was never enough for either. Broken bones and ribs did not stop them, both too firm to show weakness. Both too scared to turn down the music of deception and see through the lies that caused the hate.

The fight was not exactly fair, in the whole sense of that word. The heat of their location, weakened the cryokenetic. But on the other hand his only intention was to humiliate, not kill. That is fair enough...

Right?

To the opponent every touch felt excruciating, every mistake grave. Fire and ice hissed in the heart of the fight. Metal against flesh. Man against wraith. Angered against guiltless. Blood was spilled in both cases, in both of their lives. They hated each other to the core, to the very depth of their existence. 

But they did not know that there was another person in that discrete dance of the two. The person who was the source of the suffering, pain and death. The person who turned the music even louder making hard to think clearly, making it hard to restrain from a kill.

"That is not me!"

Pain is the driving force of anger that causes bloodlust. He lost himself then. To the sweet taste of revenge. To rhythm of the dance. And repulsively stopped the waltz to the beginning of an endless ball. That was meant to last for an eternity.

It has always been nothing more than a dance. A circling waltz of pure hatred, a movement of swords clenching against each other. A fight. That ended fatally. 

**_Caught in the moment ,engaging in my bloodlust tonight,_ **

**_Now I can't stay behind,_ **

**_Save me from wreaking my vengeance upon you,_ **

**_And killing more than I can tell,_ **

**_Burning now I bring you Hell!_ **

****

****

 

****


	4. Depression

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intro and outro quotes- Skillet "Monster"

**_I feel it deep within, it's just beneath the skin,_ **

**_I must confess that I feel like a monster._ **

**_Hiding under the bed, in my body, in my head,_ **

**_Why won't somebody come and save me from it, make it end!_ **

****

The blade... It can grant life. Through honorable fights of defending the innocent. When a true Bushi* wields a sword it becomes a weapon of justice in his hands. Cutting though lies. But what if you are the architect of the deception yourself? Does it make wrong?

Scorpion thought of what he did in his flash uncontrollable anger. Of how his carelessness may have gotten rid of his last chance of seeing his wife and son ever again. Of how the blood spilled was not that necessary as it seemed. He was the evil now! He was the person.. Wait, is person even the right word? He was the creature that acted repulsively killing a long lasting enemy, but also the hope that they could ever come back.

It could be equalized with him killing them by himself. His dear wife and son, family and clan! In his work every mistake is grave, he knew that, but still it was impossible to fully accept the fact of what he has done. He blamed himself for their deaths, and now for their unfulfilled resurrection. Justice or bloodlust he was still the one at blame, he was still the one who was weak and quick to act.

The Ninja was once again broken down, on his knees, but not in front of anyone but himself. He sat in a ruined, abandoned building, thinking about his sins. If demons could cry, he would. But even the feelings inside him were perverted, terrifyingly hollow. Hands shaking in realization of what he had lost. Thoughts racing in his head, blaming himself for everything over and over again.

He was no more a warrior of honor he used to be. He was a monster. The son of hellfire. The creation of hell.

And the real agony was in the thought that he chose this path himself. All decisions were his own, and all mistakes too. His pride and honor were lost when Quan Chi showed him the vision, when he killed Bi-Han. No, he did not regret assassinating Sub-Zero.. But somewhere deep inside he knew something was wrong, and this "something" was slowly killing Scorpion's will to continue his existence.

Why would he lie about his crime? Sub-Zero was always proud of his doings, what has changed now? Even when they fought for the scroll, he was ice cold. Everyone knew that the Lin Kuei was never afraid of В death, yet when they entered the Neather-Realm he saw something change in the way Sub-Zero looked at him. Did he make the ice melt? The Shirai Ryu wraith scared the Lin Kuei.. Or was there something else that terrified his enemy deeply? Their rival clan was known for being cold, not having any emotional connections. But at that very moment Scorpion knew that Sub-Zero had something to live for. Something or Someone. And that made the specter doubt his actions. Was parting a family for the sake of avenging another one right? Of course not! And he knew it, he knew what he has done. He knew that he had to pay!

It has been some time since the kill, but he still thought about it all the time. Thought about seeing the sadness of the loss through Kuai Liang's eyes, the feelings he felt. It made him wonder how did he come to being this awful parody of a human being. Burning on the outside, and yet so cold and petrified inside.

"You are a monster! Hanzo Hasashi is.. he is.." Scorpion murmured to himself in an insane, extremely suicidal tone.

"Dead?"

In his agony and mourn the wraith did not notice when a person entered the room. A swordsman, with a red bandage around his eyes. The blade slightly glowing blue, in the dim light of the building he sat in.

A hand was offered to him.

How long has it been since someone tried to help?

"I am a beast. Keep your distance, if you want to survive," Scorpionв's voice did not sound fierce, but fey and sad. The hand was rejected.

"You are not a monster, Hanzo."

His name sounded strange to his ear. All he wanted is to part Hanzo Hasashi from Scorpion. His human self could not have committed all those crimes. Or so he hoped. Although he has heard of the blade wielder - Kenshi- it was a great surprise and annoyance to see him here. And the most important of all, how dare he use his real name?

"Do not say that name!"

"Why? Are you scared that Scorpion has become a part of you now, well he has. But you are not a monster, Hanzo, nor have you ever been. You just need a chance of redemption. There is still hope," Kenshi's slow monologue sounded exaggeratedly calm in comparison to the ninja's shaky, demonic voice.

He shook his hand as a reminder that he still offered help.

What did this fool know about him?!? Scorpion stood up demonstratively, to show he did not require support. But in truth he needed help now more than he could ever admit.

**"** **You do not know me, swordsman!"** he shouted in a demonic voice, fists aflame, eyes white as snow.

But not a single muscle twitched on Kenshi's face, he was not scared of the specter, he was here to help. The sword behind his back was glowing even brighter in a beautiful azure color. A blue glow that brought back unpleasant memories, of death and destruction.

Scorpion charged at the man with a roar, aiming a punch to the face and gut. The punches were blocked. Kenshi took out his sword, but did not start fighting. The sword was flying next to him ready to attack any second, when the moment came the sword aimed for Scorpion's legs making him fall back onto the floor.

"I am not here to fight you," Kenshi said patiently

The wraith did not attempt to stand up, he felt foolish for rejecting such an unbiased source of kindness and support. Somewhere deep inside him the Samurai was still present and fighting. Somewhere deep inside he knew that he would have to take the help.

"I have killed many in my rage, I do not deserve such treatment"

Even though his eyes were white, it was obvious he tried not to look at the man. His head was facing down, and his hands on the floor pathetically. Scorpion was truly thankful the swordsman was blind, and did not see the petty sight he made.

"Do not blame yourself for their deaths. You could not have help."

"If I would not.." the words got stuck up his through, he tried to speak but could not.

"Kill Sub-Zero?" Scorpion whole body shook at those words, "But you did, and nothing can change that. Let us not get stuck in the past. I can help you, but only if you let me."

"Why?" Scorpion asked, voice strange even to himself.

"Because I know what you have done, and the mistakes that you have made. But you are not the monster you claim to be. There is hope of redemption. You can begin a new path, start anew," Kenshi extended his hand for the second time, "But first let's get out of these ruins."

The hand was taken, and all the specter could say was a nervous, almost shy, "Thank you."

**_I hate what I've become, the nightmare's just begun,_ **

**_I must confess that I feel like a monster,_ **

**_And if I let him out, he'll tear me up, break me down,_ **

**_Why won't somebody come and save me from this, make it end!_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Samurai


	5. The upward turn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intro an outro quotes - Rag'n'bone Man : Human

**_Take a look in the mirror,_ **

**_What do you see?_ **

**_Do you see it clearer or are deceived,_ **

**_In what you believe._ **

Breath in.

 

The first breath of a newborn is always painful. As though the air is fire, suffocating. Lungs still getting used to working, adjusting to the vast world opening. That is why a baby will always cry when it is born. But through all the pain the first breath is the beginning of life. The starting point from which everything begins. Everything starts from a first - often painful - step, whether it is a life starting, a step to redemption... Or both.

Scorpion was given a chance to pay for all his sins. He was granted a cursed gift that obligated him to life. Flesh felt strange for a person who has been dead for so long. All the alien sensations that were once familiar, made him dizzy. He could not stand without support - newborns do not walk. _Is this some kind of joke, Raiden?_ It was no joke, and it felt all too real for him too.

His uniform was stained. But finally the warm blood on him was actually his. To him that thought was strangely pleasant. It was a substance only humans had, sticky, wine colored, all over his costume, and yet not a result of a fight.

His mask was suddenly choking him, he threw it off. A face. Scorpion ran towards a shattered window and stared deeply into the eyes of the reflection. _Who are you?_ A man: with long raven hair, slight bristle and rough, fierce eyes. The window mirrored a stranger, very human to be him. He stared at in disbelief. It was practically impossible yet here he was flesh and bones, real, alive.

All the past time he was asleep, fallen into a dream of hollowness and fear. This was like being awoken earlier than usual, nearly unpleasant but not. The dawn, the day has begun. It was time to open eyes, see the world for what it really is. Painful, terrifying but also loving and warm, joyful and interesting. The world is always far too big for a newborn, but the curiosity keeps the baby going. The fear of making mistakes and failing again is great, but a chance to fix everything is far more tempting. We always want to be better people and if we get the chance, we use it... Because all of us are human.

The resurrection was a like a breath of fresh air for him, countless opportunities opening up. A whole world he could now experience without the fear of being controlled. And god knows how thankful he was at that moment...

To just to breath.

**_Cause I'm no prophet or messiah,_ **

**_You should go looking somewhere higher,_ **

**_And I'm only human after all,_ **

**_Don't put your blame on me_ ** _._


	6. Reconstruction

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intro and Outro quotes - Paradise Fears : Battle Scars

**_You can light up the dark,_ **

**_There's that fire in your heart,_ **

**_Burning brighter than ever before._ **

****

All of them were beaten and defeated... Just like me. I saw their villages burn, their families die. I saw them in despair and agony. I saw my own guilt in their eyes. A chance to start over... They were my chance to help and be helped. I only now understood what Raiden meant when he told me that with me all of us were resurrected. These survivors were meant to be warriors. To be my Shirai Ryu!

I found Myu in a place near to my resurrection. A 16 year old orphan girl that helped me get in shape. She lived on the streets, but somehow kept her youthful joy and carelessness. The first citizen in years, who was not afraid and terrified by me. Myu made me feel needed. I would get her food and shelter and in return she would do something irreplaceable - she helped me feel human again.

"Hanzo!" she would call.

It was something I would not let anyone call me before. But now. I just could not say no. Her laughter was very girly and charismatic, making me crack a smile every time I heard it. She was childish but strong and independent, a perfect choice for a warrior. She was worth being protected, but even more so I wanted to teach her what I knew. To make her stronger, to make her a Shirai Ryu.

I told that girl a story I thought no one would ever hear- the story of my miserable life. Surprisingly she took everything with understanding and no fear. Why did I speak to her - a 16-year-old child - about such personal and brutal things? Honestly, I wouldn't have the answer even now. But when emotions are bottled up, they still find their way out. For my sake this story had to be told, at least to someone. I was lucky that that - someone- did not turn out be "anyone" Her response touched me deeply, she listened carefully, then said,

"Why not reestablish your clan?" to me the words were extremely inspiring.

_It was not possible..._

_But why exactly not?_

We found a perfect place to make the temple. An abandoned village. Up in the mountains where the air was thin and cold. It was a fresh start... Literally. All that was left, was to find the recruits and rebuild.

"No problem at all!" She'd laugh.

Like a sunray in the darkness, she was an inspiration. Using the fire in her soul honorably, she led me out of the pitch black of my life. Like a beacon leads the ship towards it's destination. An orphan that required a father figure in her life, someone to teach and lead her. But in truth it was me who needed guidance, which she so unconditionally gave. With her I felt warm, and that heat was not painful or burning, it was once in an eternity actually just warm.

Myu became a daughter to me. Gave me something that I was missing - a family, a feeling of home. And encouraged me to do things I would not even think of doing on my own.

To rebuild.

To reestablish.

To resurrect.

She was the major reason why the Shirai Ryu exists today. And for that, I will always be indebted to her.

**_I'll carry you home, no, you're not alone,_ **

**_Keep marching on, this is worth fighting for,_ **

**_You know we've all got battle scars._ **


	7. Acceptance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Intro Quote - Westlife : I'll See You Again

**_Always you will be part of me,_ **

**_And I will forever feel your strength,_ **

**_When I need it most._**  


It was only the beginning of dawn, and the sky only started to blush pink, but he was already wide awake. That night he has not been sleeping at all, actually. The air smelled of blossom and was decorated with pale Sakura petals carried by the light breeze. The view from the cliff was breathtaking, a narrow spring vigorously making its way down the mountain, fields shining with emerald below. The sun was lazily trying to wake up, giving birth to the first gentle rays. Beautiful. Hanzo Hasashi sat on the warm stone, legs crossed and eyes shut. He was meditating, taking in the soft sent of the bloom and just thinking.

March was the month when the cherry gave its flowers, when the nature woke up from its long sleep. It was also the month when _She_ was born. And today was the day. He smiled to himself remembering her gentle feminine laugh, how her hair was always in a perfect bun. She did always love the Sakura, they had one in their yard back then. She would sit under it and sing. Her voice was beautiful and gentle, but the ballads she sang were always sad, about the winter. He remembered them like it was yesterday, the words started flowing out of his mouth as he sang to himself. The words were mournful but he did not feel sad. Hanzo was at peace with the world and with himself, even the demon inside him seemed to keep quiet. The world seemed to stop as he sang, and remembered the moments they had together.

Kana was a flower herself, gentle and gracious. Her kisses were silk and her sincere words of love - honey. People often wondered why the temple of ruthless assassin had so many decorative plants. But in truth their grandmaster believed that ninjutsu was not only an art of the body but also of the soul. His students should appreciate the nature and the world around. Before she died everything was different, and he was slowly coming back to what he used to be.

Maybe if it was a couple of years ago he would be angry. At the fact her death was so swift. At Sub-Zero. At the world. At himself. Of course, sometimes he still felt sad and guilty, but today just was not the day. Despite the odds it was a holiday - the birthday of a beautiful flower - he should have been happy.

Hanzo picked a Sakura branch of the floor, it was weak, so it did not survive under the mountain wind. But it was still glorious. He stood up and started walking. The Shirai Ryu temple had a special place for all the fallen warriors, a beautiful graveyard to be precise. The place always felt almost haunted, with all the white gravestones and complete silence there. He walked through it sighing heavily. They were all here, his lost family and clan, but now he had a new family. Right? He was not forgetting them in any way, but now he had new people to care about. They would be happy for him.

She had a special place there. A shrine of white marble. Even though her body was not there, he came there to talk to her spirit. The place was light, glowing even. Hanzo put the branch down and started to talk,

"I know it was your favorite," he tilted his head a little and sat down onto his knees.

He started a prayer looking up at the candy colored sky. The words that were learned by heart years ago kept coming. _She was his everything. The reason he joined the clan. The reason he was happy. The reason he had will to live._ The silence was cut by his words, with only the symphonic rattling of the leaves accompanying him. Like music to the words of a poet. As he prayed strands of hair fell onto his eyes making him seem even more imperfect in comparison to the atmosphere of the place.

The tears he has been holding back all these years, started to slowly make their way down his cheeks. Falling onto the blinding white of the stone. Hanzo let in new people into his life, into his heart. Making them his family, his clan. But in his newfound worries of the grandmaster, he never really had the time to let go. To let go of her- the memory of her soft lips, of her sweet voice. The memory of them-his clan mates and friends.

"I love you, Kana," he said whipping of the tears.

Today was the day to remember...

_But also to let go and accept._


End file.
